Oh my what have I done? I have done something I am not proud of. I told Mr. Bingley the woman I love’s sister was not suitable to be his wife! I must deal with this situation right now and pray she forgives me and accepts my proposal. However indecent it might be?
Oh that Mr. Darcy is such a wicked soul! How could he possibly think I would accept his proposal after what he did? I doubt he would change maybe I should go with Mr. Wickham instead? I know what to do. I will visit the Gardiners in Derbyshire but will not visit Pemberley and I will not accept Darcy’s proposal. Oh, but mother says to find the truth about Darcy’s intentions first for she wants me married and Jane said I should follow my desires. Oh my heart hurts, for I want him still but is it worth it? Only one way to find out?
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