There's no way in hell she's tough enough to get me in shape.
It's none of my business that her ex locked her out and took everything she owned. What am I supposed to do? After my unfortunate accident, social media is all over me, just waiting for my next mistake. I even offered her cold, hard cash and she refused, suggesting I'm trying to buy her sexual favors.
Now she's got this cockamamie idea that she could get back on her feet with a wedding. Pretending to be married might be just the thing to sweeten my side of a million-dollar deal so I offer my services. What I don't figure on is those sweet baby-blues. The minute they focus on me, I'm toast.