It's the last Christmas on Earth and outside the bunker all is white from snow and fallout. Inside the bunker, Alan and his mother face the prospect of spending the next six months locked together beneath their house. Alan's mother is determined to provide the best Christmas ever whilst Alan is convinced they should have stayed outside and been vaporised.
Alan recalls all their trials in his diary as they quickly run low on food and supplies, and as for the toilet arrangements... well, I won't spoil it for you.
"Funniest thing I've ever read" - the author.
"I'm not talking to him" - the author's mother.