Santa had a job opening on his special private bulletin board.

Toy testers
Must be open-minded
Obedient team players
Willing to sign a strict nondisclosure agreement
Good pay
Push the green button and
See Santa to apply.
Hey, how hard could it be to test toys all day? I could play with dolls and trucks and video games…pay me to play. Little did I suspect, but toys for kids isn’t all the big jolly fellow is into. I was in for a huge surprise. Santa has a side business, pleasing big girls and boys, too. Come on, join me - become a toy tester at Sensual Aspirations Novelty Toy Authority - it’ll turn your knees to jello.