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About the author

A simple country boy from Chicago, Victor Bourdain enjoys writing surrealist/absurdist fiction and essays, and he *doesn't* enjoy writing autobiographical summaries for webpages, but he does it anyways. Born to two parents, Bourdain lives in the man-made nation of the United States (in contrast to one of the naturally formed countries like Germany or Terraria), where he types out stream-of-consciousness thoughts at a wowing 120 words-per-minute, stunning anybody who walks behind his screen as he types, leaving them with no words before they fall to their knees and hail him, praising his lithe fingers and silky arms before the click-clickity-clacking of the keyboard keys being pounded away by the oily tips of his fleshy fingers becomes so overbearing that they are driven to near madness, clutching their ears with their now talon-like hands while they beg him to stop, their words coming out as mere caws as their lips grow into an elongated beak and thus they fly away, once man, now crow, to go tell all their little aviatory pals up on the power lines and in the tree nests about the wondrous and almost inhuman typing skills of the man they call Victor Bourdain.