There are two things I know. I know I had no choice but to leave the only place I’ve ever considered home behind. But knowing that doesn’t always keep the suffocating regret from settling down on my chest with such heaviness that all I want to do is find my way back. And I would have run back to Red Oak Bay weeks ago if there wasn’t a sharp pang of fear assaulting my heart every time I think about it and reminding me why I have to stay away.
Abel must hate me. I know that, too. How could he not? The idea alone makes me want to cry myself to sleep. Especially because, as ridiculous as it sounds, I don’t want him to ever stop resenting me. I even dread it. Because the day he loses that resentment is the day he’ll have forgotten about me.
People often say that you don’t realize how essential someone is in your life until you lose them. And it seems to happen to people all the time. It’s as though no one has ever been able to learn from so many others’ mistakes and appreciate what they have while they have it.
I sure haven’t learned from them.
Now, Kylie is gone, and I’m still here…left alone in our apartment with not even the smallest clue as to how to find her. That’s all I can think about—finding her and bringing her back home. Making her mine, just like I should have done when she walked into my life three years ago.